This week's thinking bit... |
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This week's thinking bit... |
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One of the most
popular programmes on the BBC has been Who do you think you are? - its about
genealogy, researching your family history, and I think one of the reasons is
that we define ourselves, we discover who we are in relation to our families:
the good bits and bad bits... Apparently the second greatest use of the internet
is about that too - it’s about our quest to find out who we are and how we fit
into the scheme of things.
Families are strange beasts! If we’re not careful we can get a very limited
understanding of what we think family is about - or should be about. And if we
do that not only do we end up pointing fingers at families that are different to
us; but we also end up feeling failures if our family unit don’t match up to
this ideal we have in our minds... The perfect family is not necessarily mum dad
and 2.5 children - the perfect family is one who support each other; who are
committed; who allow each other to grow and develop; who are open and inclusive
towards others; who share love and go through bad times as well as good times
together.
Families are about love and choice, not just about blood... Look at the Holy
Family: Mary and Jesus... stepfather Joseph... [see illustration of step dad
teaching adopted son to walk...] then as Jesus dies Mary is commended into the
care of John... so she gets a step son...
Families then can be made up of a bunch of individuals; some may be directly
related by blood, there may be the concept of extended families perhaps
including single people or older relatives. The thing which unites them is a
bond of commitment, and love.
We talk about the church family. And we’re related because God has adopted us as
his children - Jesus is our brother and we have God as our Father.
All families go through ups and downs - we have disagreements and
misunderstandings - we get things wrong, and some times we’re just deliberately
irritating... And the Holy Family was no different... Jesus was born to a
teenage unmarried mother away from home and family in an outhouse [Lk 2.7]; they
had to flee for their lives from King Herod to live as exiled political refugees
in a foreign country [Mt 2.13]; they lost Jesus when he was 12 years old on a
family outing to Jerusalem [Lk 2.41f]; Jesus grew up in a household where he and
his brothers and sisters had different dads [either Mary & Joseph’s children, or
those from Joseph’s first marriage - depending on which tradition you go for];
his mother Mary and his brothers & sisters came to take him home because they
thought he was going too far - in fact they though “he is out of his mind”! [Mk
3.21 & 31].
So if we find we are going through difficult times in our family units, it’s all
part of being human and the Holy Family went through similar challenges all
those years ago. I think we can find strength in that; reassurance that we’re
not on a different planet; and we can ask for their prayers and support as we
try to make our family units places of love, growth, support and positive
energy.
Fr Andrew Perry
Rector, St John the Evangelist, Pevensey Rd, St Leonards on Sea
